Lately I’ve been thinking… I may be in my best season of my life. My own two little girls that think I’m the coolest thing in the whole wide world, they love me fiercely. I’m also blessed enough to feel the love of the five other girls in my care. During my days I chip away at photography work and homemaking tasks while the kids sleep. While they are awake I get to watch these amazingly sweet and imaginative little girls play so kindly with each other. And I have my husband home every night. I feel like this is as close to heaven on earth I’m ever going to get.
It hasn’t always been this way. With Josh on the road the countless sleepless nights with Maisy didn’t just feel like, but were torture. I was so tired I couldn’t think straight nor could I parent with even the slightest bit of emotional stability because of it. When I first started day care, and for the first many months, it was way hard. Maisy deeply struggled with sharing me and her toys. So much so that she sat in time out several times a day for hitting, yelling, tantrums, taking toys from friends, and the like.
I feel so blissful because I’m so profoundly thankful my load feels so much lighter with a husband who is only a phone call away during the day and is present here at night to talk though any rigors of the day over with. I’m entirely content with all the things God has placed in my life, so much so I slightly nervously cling to every moment, hoping the next one doesn’t take my husband away from us so much of the time again, ruin the love my girls have for me and turn it into some of that teenager distain I’ve heard so much about, and that all the girls are suddenly at odds with each other all day long like they once seemed to be.
I’ve come to realize just how fully dependent the outcome of your days are, though, on your outlook. My days right now could be painted very differently…
My own two little girls are so fiercely dependent on me that I can’t get away to do photography, let alone to run any errands or catch a glimpse of alone time, for more than a few hours. I get very little sleep because of my baby and waking up early to greet the five other kids I have in my care during the week. Then those five other little girls rip my house apart on a daily basis and wreak havoc on my ears with screaming and running and other boisterous activities. I work night hours and weekends to do photography on top of the 50 hour work week doing day care without a lunch break.
It’s really all about perspective.