A Letter to My Girls: I Love That I Get to Love You

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Dearest girls,

I love that I get to love you exactly the way I want to.  It’s truly one of my favorite parts of parenting!  I can squeeze you, kiss you all the time, hold you whenever I want, snuggle you, tickle you, toss you, rub your back and legs and head and belly, speak love over you, encourage you when you’re feeling blue, snuggle up and read books with you, bake with you, build Lego castles with you, play games with you, sit with you while I work, and I can give you the presents I know you’ll adore.

I love that you never turn away a hug.  I love that you always let me hold you and love you in this way and don’t push me away.

I love that I can kiss you all over your face a few dozen times all in a row and you take it all in with an eye to eye smile on your face and a glow in your eyes.  I love that I can kiss your neck, your belly and your toes whenever I want.  I love that you hunt me down every time you get a certain calibre of owie just for my healing kisses.

I love that I can steal you off the ground and hold you whenever I want, even if it’s only for a moment.  And I truly soak in the times when you snuggle in for the long haul, especially just after a nap or when you’re not feeling well.

I love snuggling with you before you go to bed, holding you close to my body as if trying to suck you back into my womb, all while taking in deep breaths of your sweet scent.

I love to tickle you just to see that smile and hear that amazing laugh.

I love to toss you onto the bed or the couch, again, to see that amazing smile.  It’s like capturing a thousand shooting stars, the brightest sunshine, and the most delicious homemade cookie all at once.  It fills up my whole body with complete joy and I can feel the echo of your smile on my face.

I love soaking in the sensation of touching your cute little, barely hairy, legs in particular.  Maybe it’s because this is a luxury I know is more limited – that when you’re school age you probably won’t let me anymore and I’ll be stuck with just rubbing your back, and not even skin to skin but through your clothing.

I love that I can speak love over you in ways I know you completely understand because we’ve been intimately woven together since your birth.  I love that I have a special knack for communicating with you.  That I know my words find the core of your being, even if that means for the worse in my grumpier moments.  I know that, because I’ve spent so much time in your young days and talking to you all day long every day, that we have a verbal connection that is just mine. I love that my words can also go so far in your heart to repair any heartache or misunderstanding.  Even your daddy knows that sometimes it’s best to defer to me to communicate consequences, feelings, daily happenings… you name it.  I cherish that connection and pray I never lose it.

I love that I can spend quality time with you in ways that fill us both up like reading books together, baking, playing games, or building Lego castles with you.  I love that mostly you’re just happy with any way I can include you in on what I’m doing whether that’s in the garden, in my office, in the kitchen or in the laundry room.

I love that whenever a gift-giving holiday comes around I get so excited at all the gift ideas I have for you.  Even though a sensible mind and the budget restrain me a good amount, I’m so pleased with the joy my gifts bring you and how you treasure them. It feels so validating to have “nailed it.”

I love that I get to love you.

With all my heart,

Mommy

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