First Trimester Blues

Posted on January 22, 2014 by Kaia Calhoun

Written October 19, 2013 at 16 weeks pregnant

They don’t tell you how hard it is to keep the biggest secret of your life!

One, telling the world you are engaged is close to, but not as big as telling the world you are pregnant with your first child. Let me explain, when we were engaged we were so excited to tell the world that we were so in love that we wanted to commit the rest of our lives together. Now, four years later, our love is worlds different and worlds stronger, more passionate, and more lovely than the day we announced we were engaged. So, with our new inseparable love and a baby on the way that we get to love and grow together I have found my level of excitement about our new adventure exponentially higher. Then, unlike being able to immediately announce your engaged, you are strongly encouraged by this unwritten rule to withhold your exciting news until after your first trimester is complete. That’s three months of big secrecy folks!

Two, you miss out on the camaraderie. The first trimester is tough because I am dead tired, ridiculously hungry, and slightly queasy ALL THE TIME, my boobs ache as if they are being weighed down by rocks, and I have no one but my hubby to talk to about it – and though sympathetic and understanding he’s still a dude. I find myself wanting people to ask me the questions I like to ask pregnant friends. How have you been feeling? Were you surprised? What kind of birth are you going to have? Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?

Three, with Josh gone through the majority of this first trimester, having some help now would be huge… but since I have to keep quiet there is no such luck on that front! For example, having my own personal dinner chef now would mean the world of a difference! I’m so starving so suddenly that I can only manage to pile in whatever I can find immediately – this also means my choices aren’t as healthy as they could be if I had time to put something together. And though I’m not showing, my movements are already limited beyond what the average Kaia did; I can’t lift things lift heavy things off the ground because my uterus cramps up in protest. Where is my man when I need him right? 😉

But now, if this post is up, I am able to share my news with the whole world and now have a network of friends and family to be excited with me and help me 🙂

First Symptoms

Posted on January 17, 2014 by Kaia Calhoun

Bemusings of a Baby Life

As some of you may have already read in my “Beginnings” post the tell tale signs of pregnancy kick in right away. Or at least in my case they do, apparently not everyone experiences such early and obvious signs. That’s just what I’ve heard. Anyway, I will be very open because I am the kind of person that loves to know these types of things. And when I read the book Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth Josh was very insistent that I not only should and could share my pregnant stories for educational and entertainment purposes but that I would enjoy telling them. Well, he’s right. Also, the side benefit to all of this is I plan to take these stories and insert them into my baby scrapbook! What a good way for writer and photographer mama to capture the memories right? I’m not afraid to share, but I will forewarn you that some of you may think TMI at some points. To you squeamish males, if you stick it out you might learn something!

My Symptoms in my First 4 Weeks of Pregnancy

Sign #1 | I have to pee… again.

Yes, this happened right away for me. After several trips to the bathroom in the span of a couple of hours I remember thinking, “I don’t think I drank this much water.” Then my next thought was, “is this a sign of pregnancy?” Like a good little college graduate I looked it up and, indeed, it was!

Sign #2 | extra discharge

So for those females who have learned their body we know that there is a cycle of discharge and each different type of discharge has a different a meaning. The beginning of this cycle is the first day of your period. Then you move to a stage of dry fluid and this is also an infertile time. As you progress onward the fluid becomes more fertile. Next is a sticky fluid. Then a fluid best described as “egg white.” And finally, the most fertile fluid is dubbed as “watery” and appears as a little, circular wet spot at the bottom of your panties. From then on you rapidly drop down the scale again, spending the rest of the cycle mostly “dry.” For me, the minute I didn’t go dry I started wondering. In fact, I was always very watery. So, again, a faithful little college graduate I looked it up and found it certainly was one of the first signs of pregnancy.

Sign #3 | sore breasts

If any of you have ever experienced the discomfort of a breast cyst you know how my breasts felt. However, unlike a breast cyst, it felt like the whole base of my breast was a cyst… except minus the lumpy cyst. For those of you who don’t know what this feels like, the best way I can describe this feeling is that it feels like the blend between growing pains and sore muscles the morning after a heavy work out. My boobs hurt so bad I had a hard time with even gentle hugs! Poor Josh had to hold me like I was a porcelain doll. Do I have you wondering if you hugged me in this faze? I’m a tough kid, so I offered solid hugs like always so maybe you’ll never know. Mwahahaha… 😉

Anyway, I was puzzled and was ready to be concerned if a pregnancy test didn’t come up positive. But it did, so turns out these sore knockers are just a normal sign that I’m pregnant.

Sign #4 | no period

For me this confirmed everything even when I was only a few days late because I am always on the button with my cycle. But I waited to take the test until I was a good 5 days past when Josh came home again so we could enjoy the seconds of anxious excitement during the test processing together.

Congratulations, you made it! Now you know a little something about what the very beginning of pregnancy can feel like!

The Hungry Hungry Pregnant Lady

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Kaia Calhoun

Bemusings of a Baby Life

9 weeks pregnant

I’m pregnant. I don’t get sick. I don’t get unreasonably tired unless it’s past 9pm. No, but the minute I get hungry and food is not around look out!

I have never felt so desperate to get food in my entire life as I did the night of Turkey Supper at The Connecting Church.

Please note, I started this evening hungry even before I left work at 4:00pm.

First we had a meeting to talk about putting an offer on a house. We couldn’t find the realtor when we got there so we left and went to the church. I was stoked thinking I would soon be fed. A couple of minutes later I heard back from the realtor with an updated location. We left the church for our new destination. Our meeting there lasted about 45 minutes. We walked back over to the church. We waited for a freight train to let us pass. We finally arrived at the church. We talked to some church friends for a long time. I started dropping hints that I was starving. Then I started trying to pull Josh away. Finally I succeeded. Then we got stopped again for more conversation. I eventually managed to pull Josh away. Finally we were in the dining hall and seated. But there was no food. I leaned over and asked Josh, “how do I get food?” He angry whispered in my ear, “they bring it around.” Apparently, I was supposed to know that. Finally the food came. By then it was 6:30pm. I shoveled turkey into my mouth like I was never going to see food again. I am a vegetarian. It tasted incredible.

That night I learned something about my pregnant self, the longer I withhold food, the more I progress through a series of events: my stomach growls incessantly, I become lightheaded and dizzy, I start seeing stars, and then I get desperate. For any of you that get cranky when your hungry, multiply that by 10 and you have what I feel at that point in my hunger process.

Now, to give Josh some credit, I had only told him about my hunger issues over the phone so far. Yes, he had been gone for most of my pregnancy up to that point. So, on this night of severe hunger he wasn’t quite getting it. Yes, I was growing visibly and verbally impatient. He wasn’t liking my behavior. However, he certainly wasn’t getting that I was using every ounce of self restraint not to simply disregard all formalities and hunt the food down for myself. The next day, after a long discussion, he got it and we haven’t had another debacle since. Getting food to pregnant Kaia is priority one in the Calhoun household.

– Written November 19

Beginnings

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Kaia Calhoun

– Written October 9, 2013 (5 weeks)

Beginnings foster surreal excitement. They are moments when the whole world feels like it is within your grasp.

The moment Josh and I decided to “pull the goalie” I was flush with the kind of excitement that is rarely experienced. It’s the kind of excitement that you don’t realize you are experiencing until your mom catches you blushing and grinning at a text message from your boyfriend or girlfriend. It also feels like Christmas morning when you anticipate opening the gifts under the tree. Anyway, my cheeks constantly held a lively shade of scarlet and I couldn’t keep a grin off my face.

I started looking up my symptoms. Every new bodily experience of mine brought up pregnancy links first. In these links “I knew” became a broken record – women just seemed to sense when they were pregnant even before missing their period or taking a test. I grew more fearful that I wouldn’t “know” like these women did. I wanted to have this seemingly divine experience with my baby and know it was there before a test told me so. Almost right away I had inklings of knowing but I told myself it was probably unlikely just so I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Then there was simply no denying it. I remember telling Josh I would be concerned about my aching breasts and surprised if I wasn’t pregnant. Finally, I was so confident I even started praying for our little baby before I even took the test.

Josh and I decided we wanted to find out together rather than have me surprise him with the news. I was 5 days late for my period when he got home from tour so almost right after I got home from work we both went into the bathroom to take the test. Ordinarily I am a pee-in-a-cup pro, but this time I totally botched it up. To my relief, Josh appeared engrossed in other things and missed my moment of shame. I didn’t want to sneak glances at the little dipstick because I really wanted Josh to discover the answer first. So I left the bathroom but when I came back to grab something I could see “pregnant” in my periphery. I gasped, picked it up for closer examination, then turned it to Josh. We stared, wide-eyed at each other for a fraction of a second then I fell into his arms with tears in my eyes. For good measure, we left the test out on the counter until the battery died – I couldn’t help but think the test just might change its mind.

I already love where this new journey is taking me and Josh. He’s already so sweet, offering to cook me food, packing my lunch, and seeking to meet my every whim. I will not be demanding. In fact, so far I beat him to the punch on these things and often reply, “oh, I already packed my lunch” or “oh, I already did that.” But it is awesome knowing he wants to be so present and helpful. I know he’s anxiously awaiting the advent of my cravings. I just hope he’s not too disappointed if what I want is something like broccoli instead of pizza or Oreos.

And now, as I write this, I am keeping the biggest secret of my life when all I want to do is tell the whole world! Today I was asked by one of my new co-workers if Josh and I had children. I wanted to say yes, but paused for a fraction of a second before I answered with, “no, but we have two dogs.” I feel like I’m lying. But, I suppose, to a lot of people, the eye-of-a-needle sized person I’m carrying with me is not a life yet. But to me, this is my child and I am already fiercely protective. I can only pray and hope that my body is so kind and nurturing to this little cutie and anticipate the day when I can protect them with my own arms.

The best part of all of this though, is the love I feel from my Father. I didn’t expect to get pregnant right away. I set these expectations because I am aware it is often times takes several months for even the healthiest of couples to conceive. When I saw our positive pregnancy test I was overtaken by a feeling or warmth and love – like God was giving me a long congratulatory hug and whispering “I love you” the whole time. I feel so blessed to have conceived right away.

For more baby making storytelling CLICK HERE.

Our Annual Photo Spree + Our 3 MO Belly!

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Kaia Calhoun

Every year, around our anniversary, Josh and I take pictures together. They end up added to a collage we have in our living room that one day will cover a whole wall I’m sure. I LOVE our tradition! This year I loved that we got to do our photo fun with Mandy again! First of all, she is a wonderful, sweet, dear friend! Second of all, she is an incredible photographer! She also did our engagement photos and wedding.

Anyway, I love our tradition because I truly love the time with Joshua and then being able to put up pictures of our ever growing love up around the house!

This year, our shoot was a little more special because we’re having a baby and couldn’t be more happy about it! In this year’s blend of images you will see some “pregnancy” geared images. (Our little peanut is 13 weeks cookin’ in these pictures – so, roughly, 3 months. As I post this we are 17 weeks into this adventure!