16 weeks pregnant – Musings of a Musician's Wife

– Story takes place December 29, 2013 at 16 weeks pregnant.

Dolphins have been my favorite animal since first grade.

The morning we were scheduled leave Fort Meyers Beach was a dreary one. I hoped to go for a run on the beach, particularly to try and spot one of the dolphins my brother raved about, but with the rain I decided on going to the work out room. After my work out I contemplated going on a walk to try and see some dolphins, but it was still raining so that didn’t sound like fun and I thought my dad might be up and ready to go to breakfast with me. After breakfast with Dad I contemplated going straight out to the beach to look for dolphins but he needed to stop back at the room. While still in the room my soaked mom and brother appeared after an apparently exciting experience with some dolphins. I was upset. All week I visited and revisited the beach in hopes of spotting a dolphin. Instead, either just before or after I went out I would hear yet another exciting dolphin experience from my brother. So, on the brink of our departure and having missed another dolphin spotting opportunity, I reverted back to childhood for a moment and exclaimed, “How come I always miss the dolphins!” My ever encouraging Mom said I should go out and check anyway. So my dad and I did, we booked it out there hoping we didn’t miss all the action.

After scouring the waters for any sign of a fin I started having a heated, pleading discussion with God. My dad interrupted my rant every now and then with a proclamation and point in the direction of a fin. I missed every one. I started getting demanding towards God. And finally, in the middle of trying to guilt-trip God into showing me dolphins, I saw my first fin. I admit all of this heavily. Demanding that God show me dolphins wasn’t exactly a proud moment. But when I did see those dolphins my heart was so overjoyed and filled with love that tears filled my eyes. I remember thinking what a loving parent I had: that the Father of the universe cared to take the time to let emotional, pregnant me see a dolphin that day. In that moment, I felt the warmth and love that only His hugs can give.

My dad and I found a pair of dolphins close to the shore and waded waist-deep into the chilly water in hopes they might come over and say hi. I went in just deep enough to give the baby a swim in the salty water because I wanted to share my big and adventurous moment with Peanut.

How about you? Is there a moment in your life when God very specifically loved on you, however juvenile or silly?

Bemusings of a Baby Life

Written October 19, 2013 at 16 weeks pregnant

They don’t tell you how hard it is to keep the biggest secret of your life!

One, telling the world you are engaged is close to, but not as big as telling the world you are pregnant with your first child. Let me explain, when we were engaged we were so excited to tell the world that we were so in love that we wanted to commit the rest of our lives together. Now, four years later, our love is worlds different and worlds stronger, more passionate, and more lovely than the day we announced we were engaged. So, with our new inseparable love and a baby on the way that we get to love and grow together I have found my level of excitement about our new adventure exponentially higher. Then, unlike being able to immediately announce your engaged, you are strongly encouraged by this unwritten rule to withhold your exciting news until after your first trimester is complete. That’s three months of big secrecy folks!

Two, you miss out on the camaraderie. The first trimester is tough because I am dead tired, ridiculously hungry, and slightly queasy ALL THE TIME, my boobs ache as if they are being weighed down by rocks, and I have no one but my hubby to talk to about it – and though sympathetic and understanding he’s still a dude. I find myself wanting people to ask me the questions I like to ask pregnant friends. How have you been feeling? Were you surprised? What kind of birth are you going to have? Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?

Three, with Josh gone through the majority of this first trimester, having some help now would be huge… but since I have to keep quiet there is no such luck on that front! For example, having my own personal dinner chef now would mean the world of a difference! I’m so starving so suddenly that I can only manage to pile in whatever I can find immediately – this also means my choices aren’t as healthy as they could be if I had time to put something together. And though I’m not showing, my movements are already limited beyond what the average Kaia did; I can’t lift things lift heavy things off the ground because my uterus cramps up in protest. Where is my man when I need him right? 😉

But now, if this post is up, I am able to share my news with the whole world and now have a network of friends and family to be excited with me and help me 🙂