A Letter to Baby: How I Told Your Dad

Dear Baby,

With Maisy, your Daddy and I took the pregnancy test together.  With Penny, I took the test secretively but with Daddy over in the next room I couldn’t help but go show and tell immediately.  With you, it was all different.

On February 5, 2018, I took the test because I wanted to keep you healthy and safe.  Your Mommy had been a house-fixing-up-fiend and the item on my list for the day was finishing the doors in the basement with polyurethane.  Part way through working on the doors it occurred to me that being a day late for my monthly might mean I was pregnant and that if I was pregnant then breathing in those fumes would be dangerous for you.  So, I paused in the painting and peed on a pregnancy test.  The test read “pregnant” even before I’d pulled my pants up.  I was surprised, not shocked or stunned, just very pleasantly surprised.  Truth be told, your mom can’t leave a job part way done so I hunted for a face mask and when I found none I held my breath and rapidly slapped the rest of the polyurethane on those two doors on the basement.

For a few hours I sat on my secret.  Your daddy came home and we went about business as usual, all the while the wheels in my head spun for a good way to tell your dad.  I thought about waiting to give him a clever gift on Valentines Day, but your dad likes things simpler than that.  I thought about waiting until the next night when your Dad was already at his happiest while we were on our date night and then just blurting it out, but I couldn’t come up with how I would go about it.  I thought about having Maisy tell him, but then I thought it would be best to wait to tell her until we were safely at 10 weeks.  I thought about putting that cutest “Best Sister Ever” shirt on Penny and waiting for your Daddy to comment, but I couldn’t find it. Then finally it hit me, I’d tell him through the bio he’d asked me to write for him just that morning.

Hi, my name is Josh Calhoun.  I’m a singer/songwriter and I’m so excited to finally be sharing my own music with you!  I’ve loved music all my life.  In school I played saxophone and drums.  Out of school I played drums in bands with my buddies.  After high school I settled in at Judson University, mostly to play drums in a band with my brother.  That band is the Citizen Way you know now with 6 radio hits.  Now-a-days you’ll find me out playing cover songs at some local joint, leading worship whenever and wherever I can, writing music, or at a gig playing the songs I’ve written.  I live in southern Wisconsin with my wife and three amazing children.

He got to the end and said “I don’t have three kids.”

He looked at me and I nodded as I smiled bigger than my face could contain.

His eyes bulged, “are you serious?!”

I nod again.

He exploded instantly into tears and I held him while he cried for joy.  When he dried up and released me he said, “Wow babe, what a cool way to tell me, thank you.”

The rest of the day I walked around feeling like I was glowing.

This moment will be one of my favorite memories always.  That honest and raw reaction out of your Daddy will be precious to me, and I’m sure to you, forever.

Baby, I cannot wait to meet you.  I already love you so much and plan to take such good care of us through this pregnancy.  I’m excited to deliver you here at home with your sisters, the most amazing sisters, in the room with me.  I’m excited for them to meet you and know you.  More than anything, I’m so excited to pull squishy you out of my belly and look into your eyes for the first time.  I’m excited to snuggle you as much as I can, especially those first few weeks.  And, because I’m so excited for all of this, all of life with you, the rest of this winter-spring will look sunny and beautiful in my eyes instead of the bleak and frigid outlook I’ve been unable to shake as of late.

With all my heart and excitement,

Mommy

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