A Letter to Maisy: I’m Sorry For My Tone

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For a post written in August (edited and posted only now) it seemed fitting to feature a picture from August as well.  Besides, I figure we all could use a little green on this dreary winter day.

Dear Maisy,

Lately, I’ve been struck by my tone.  Even as the words spill out of my mouth I hear how I sound and I wish I could catch them mid air and put them back in my mouth and swallow them.  Why can’t I stop myself?  Why do the words come out even when the better half of my being only wants to love and respect you.  Why is it always the yucky half of me that gets the louder word in moments like that?

I want to be so patient with you.  I don’t want to make you feel like your questions are stupid or like your words don’t matter or like your needs are frivolous.  Because they aren’t, ever.  And I truly mean that.  And yet, I know my tone says otherwise because I grow impatient and tired of the endless demands of a full day taking care of small children.  It’s not your fault.  And I want to do better.  I pray that as I’m trying to learn to correct this bad tone that you have the grace to know my true desire is always to show you love and respect.

With all my heart,

Mommy

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