Citizen Way story

So I simply wanted to interview Citizen Way about their recording process for an inside scoop at what that is like.  Then I realized I haven’t properly introduced the band.  However, if you keep your eye on me, I will have the inside scoop on Citizen Way’s recording their first full length album with Fair Trade Services up in the next week or two.  It is ready to go, I just have to wait for the right moment 😉  So, for now, I offer you the Citizen Way story as written by Joshua Calhoun and myself.

Citizen Way Story… so far

The Band
Lead singer and guitar:  Ben Calhoun (Ben C)
Keys, guitar, and vocals:  Joshua Calhoun
Bass guitar:  Ben Blascoe (Ben B)
Drums, percussion, omnichord:  David Blascoe

There is a common misconception that often comes with being a signed recording artist.  Many believe that fame and wealth soon follow after the pen hits the paper and that the troubles wash away from the flow of prosperity.  Though becoming a signed recording artist is a dream come true, dreams are still often filled with an often-sobering reality.  That said, I would like to shed some light on the blessings and trials of being in a band with a song on the radio.

Citizen Way has been a band for a little over eight years at this point, though we haven’t always been called Citizen Way.  For much of our “career” we have led, played and recorded under the name The Least of These.

It all started when my brother simply asked Ben to record bass and me to record drums for a set of twelve original songs he wanted to make into a solo album.  I literally met Ben Blascoe for the first time in the studio.  After the album we decided we wanted to keep playing so I transferred to Judson College from Greenville College and our journey began.

Our band quickly expanded to a five-piece as we added Sam Lima and Neil Lubke on electric guitars.  Our first show was at Judson University and our second show was at a Battle of Bands on a flatbed truck.  Shawn McDonald was a judge for that show so when we won we couldn’t help but think we had something.  Our first shows were awesome, we gelled really well, and we loved ourselves some good ‘ol fashioned rock music.  Those first eight years we played everywhere from bars and cafes to summer festivals and churches but our most desired and sought after gig was opening for national acts that were coming through the area.

Eventually we whittled back down to a three-piece with just me, Ben and Ben until we brought David Blascoe on as the drummer in order to move me up to keys and guitar.

We are a band of biological brothers.  As a result, we have been heavily involved in each other’s lives and have seen and shared in much joy and heartache.  We are deep into the lives of one another and love each other very much.  So much so that the four of us have become family to each other, so much so that we are aunties and uncles to each other’s our kids, and that is far more important that ever getting to play.  After all, we are, first and foremost, brothers – being band mates is simply a privilege.  Now of course there are times of conflict – as with any group of people spending endless hours in a van together.  As a band of brothers sometimes deeper rooted issues arise during moments of tension or conflict but that can also be a blessing because you get to live life together.  It reaches us to learn to understand the deep-rooted issues and to respect each other.

As a band we have made a few attempts to work our way into mainstream Christian music.  First, in 2007 we met with a label and were given the hard truth that we were not yet good enough.  In 2009, Ben and I drove down to Nashville to meet with another label to try to woo them.  We played for James Rueger that day, the A&R rep for INO Records, and in the end we drove home with nothing more than a launch-pad relationship.  Finally, in 2011 we played a Christmas concert with Barlow Girl where a special someone heard our song Should’ve Been Me; he excitedly asked if he could share it with friends in the music business and from there we struck a showcase with another label. So, that December, we piled our gear into our van and drove the nine-hour haul to Nashville to perform a showcase for them.  Ten people at the label watched us play and we left with no more than a kind, “we’ll let you know” and a quick shuffle out the door.

We thought we were reaching our conclusion as a band.  As we slowly packed our things and piled them back into our van, unsure how to spend the rest of our day, Ben C decided to seize the spare time.  He called up James Rueger, the A&R rep for, now, Fair Trade Services, and scheduled a “stop by the studio for a visit” trip.  This “visit” turned into a meet and greet that led us to where we are now, a signed artist with a song on the radio!

This past February, the four of us met at Ben C’s to sign the official Fair Trade Artist contract, a contract that says a lot of things that we needed explained by a lawyer.  The contract essentially slated us in for a single song.  At this point we also chose to change our name to avoid a potential legal hassle with someone else called Least of These, though different from The Least of These, but more on there here.

We drove back to Nashville that March and recorded our first single, Should’ve Been Me, in all of two days.  Then, a couple of months later, we hit the road for radio tour.  This trip was all about visiting radio stations all over the country to introduce Citizen Way and Should’ve Been Me.  We fly to a location then drive, drive, drive, and visit, visit, visit.   It’s a great opportunity because we got to build relationships with people that we will hopefully be working with more in the future.

In the end we made it to 55 some stations so this meant we were home of all of maybe a week that whole month.  Then, come June 1 of this year, Should’ve Been Me was released to radio stations and began to take off in incredibly ways!  First it was a college station in North Newton, Kansas that played our song.  The feedback from friends was incredible.  We got updates all across the country as to who was hearing it when and where and on what station.  Then, suddenly, we were hearing it at home on KLOVE!   One of the greatest experiences to date was headlining a show halfway across the country and having people show up because they know our song and they know who we are now.

Currently we are hitting some one-off dates and working on our full length record.  There are some more big things to come:  in January we go on tour with MIKESCHAIR, in February we hit a long tour with Big Daddy Weave and Chris August, in March our next single should hit the radio, and some time after that the full length album will be released (no solid timeframe yet).

Our team:

Label:  Fair Trade Services
A&R Rep:  James Rueger
Producer:  Seth Mosely

Management:  Creative Trust
Manager:  Jim Houser

Booking:  Paradigm

Citizen Way Website

12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas: Day 7 – 9

I am almost there!  This next set of projects took a lot less time, say 2 to 3 hours instead of 8 to 10 😉

Day 7:  Sharpie mugs

Josh and I have the privilege of meeting with two small groups.  What’s particularly great about these groups is neither was started as a couples small group.

I have been meeting with the same group of girls for 3 1/2 years.  A year ago one got married, four months ago another got married, and three and a half months ago the third left to study in New York for a semester.  So, with just three of us we decided to double our numbers by adding the guys while Mary was gone.  I originally made these mugs for the gift exchange we were to do last Thursday but, because of a flu bug, our Christmas party was postponed and now I only need one gift to exchange since Josh is gone this week.

The other group we fondly call “couples and pizza” even though we have been meeting as a small group for a few months and haven’t been back for pizza in a while.  Again, a few years ago, not too long after Josh and I got married we started going out for pizza at this great local place called The Squire with our friends Kyle and Amelia.  After a few months of just us we invited another wife that shared a class, Screenwriting, with Ami and I and before long we grew into a 10 “member” group.  Amelia and Kyle moved away for a year but came back just in time as we transitioned into doing a Wiser Together small group study put together by Willow Creek Community Church.  I’ve loved where the study has taken us as a group and really brought us together as a community doing life together and spiritually shepherding one another.  Even though I miss looking forward to pizza I really love how studying every week together has made us a family.

Side note:  for those of you not in a small group… I SERIOUSLY recommend it!  It is good for the growth of the heart, soul, and mind in so many ways.  AND, if you are thinking of starting a small group or joining a small group I wholeheartedly recommend Wiser Together as a great launching point for a group.  Really builds a strong foundation for the group by getting to the nitty-gritty and establishing trust.

Anyway, it is for this second group that I am now contributing the Christmas mugs for our gift exchange tomorrow.  So, group, spoiler alert!  If any of you are reading you know what one of the gifts is.  BUT you don’t know how I’m wrapping it 😉

I can say I came up with this idea on my own.  At least the colorful Sharpie and mugs bit of it.  My friend Megan a couple of weeks previous had told me how she was making creative plates by simply writing in black Sharpie on them.  So when I was pondering what $10 gift I could give that was a little more fun the mug idea came to me.  So I went to IKEA and picked up a couple of their standard white mugs, IKEA 365+, for about $6 – don’t worry I have another little something with the gift to make is $10, I am no cheap skate 😉  At home I have a plethora of colored Sharpie markers so I selected the appropriate color for each of the words I had selected to write and silver for some snowflakes I wanted to draw on the mugs as well.  My word choices coincided with the words I’ve been holding at the front of my brain this December as I’m working through my projects and really working to keep my focus on Christ and the main things He stands for:  peace, hope, love, and joy.  Megan was over working on some cards so together we decided that deep blue was for peace (like the calming ocean waves), green was for hope (like the hope of growth in spring), red for love (of course), and light blue was for joy (red, orange, yellow, and pink would have been fitting too but red was already taken, orange isn’t really Christmas-like, the yellow wouldn’t show and I don’t particularly like pink).

What I loved about this project was how nice and easy it was, that I was able to spruce up my gift giving on a budget and in a personal way, and that I could also give the gift of the reminders of those four important words.

mugs

Supplies needed:

  • at least one mug (IKEA 365+ for $3/ea)
  • Sharpie/s – colors of your choice
  • oven

Your steps:

  1. preheat the oven to 350 degrees
  2. draw on your mug (if you make mistakes you can rub it off with a little, good ‘ol fashioned, spit)
  3. put in oven for 30 minutes
  4. the end

Day 8:  Calhoun Christmas Card 2012

Every year, except for our first married Christmas, Josh and I have sent out Christmas cards.  After the first year of receiving a little pile of Christmas cards for our fridge I swore I would contribute to our friends fridges in the years to come.  Just one of those things I didn’t think about as a brand new homemaker 😉  I LOVE Christmas cards.  I love making them.  I love getting them.  What’s not to like really, you get the most adorable picture of the ones you love to keep in your house until the next year when you get to put up a new one.  I’m thinking that I will start saving them in this easy, make-shift binder idea I have for when my fridge fills up too much.

The first couple years I used VistaPrint for our Christmas cards.  What’s nice about them is they are SUPER cheap and there are designs for you to choose from right there.  But this year I started designing cards myself for my photography clients so I decided I should do the same for Josh and I.  Ironically, for ours, I actually purchased a design template from Etsy and customized it to fit us and my printing needs then I got it printed through my lab.

What I liked about this project was choosing a fun design and the intent of a simple gift to everyone Josh and I hold dear.  I personally value the Christmas cards that share the year’s story so I can get properly up to speed with friends, even if I gave talked to them.  I love getting to hear highlights and lowlights of the past year in this simple, straight-forward way so I always make a point to do so on our cards.  Kudos to Grandma Joyce because it was the Christmas card I received from her and Grandpa that prompted the personal message idea.

For this year’s message I also wrote a poem, but here’s all of what we are sharing on our cards that I’m popping in the mail today:

Christmas card back design

Christmas card back design – for better viewing of the text 😉

Christmas card front

Christmas card front

Christmas Card Back - to Grandma Lu ;)

Christmas Card Back – to Grandma Lu 😉

Supplies needed:

  • a professional photo lab or a professional photographer to go through or maybe you can come up with another brilliant idea/solution
  • Adobe Photoshop
  • a postcard design template (I got mine from Etsy from the frankandfrida shop, Prescott Blue- 5×7 Holiday Card)

Your steps:

  1. purchase your design
  2. customize
  3. write your holiday message – please 😉
  4. send to the printer
  5. they arrive at your doorstep
  6. address and send!

Day 9:  Christmas book

So I have been in need of a final project since the conception of the idea to do this whole 12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas thing.  All along I’ve had 10 solid ideas with 11 and 12 fluctuating in and out.  I had a circulation of three handmade gifts that I was flirting with posting but, in the end, only chose to include the mugs (Day 7, above).  So that still left me with one day that I was unsure what to do with.  I thought I might make a yarn wreath, split my snowflake making into a couple of days, or make some more ornaments (sparkles or stars) but I didn’t particularly love those ideas because I already had a wreath and didn’t have a place for another one, splitting snowflake making is lame, and after my crayon ornaments, pine cone ornaments (Day 2), and origami star tree garland (Day 1) I had a full tree.  Then, a couple of days ago, I was doing some blog research when I came upon a “Christmas book” idea.  Since I am starting this on mine and Josh’s fourth Christmas I filled in the first few years from memory and got us caught up to this year.  All I have left for this year is to list our 2012 favorite 2012 Christmas memories and favorite 2012 Christmas gifts.

What I liked about this project was having a place to keep track of our yearly Christmas card, I could make use of a cool and Christmas-like journal my mom gave us a year or so ago, and I could keep a log of major year happenings mixed in with Christmas anecdotes like favorite gifts and Christmas events (Christmas with who and what we did).  Then, I can pack it up with our Christmas stuff at the end of the season so it can come out naturally for another round next year 🙂

IMG_9424

IMG_9426

IMG_9427

IMG_9428

IMG_9429

IMG_9430

I think after this Christmas I am going to have Josh write in it because his handwriting is much prettier.  This is what I get for not thinking to utilize his penmanship when he’s in town! 😉

Supplies needed:

  • a journal or unlined book of sorts
  • a pen or pencil
  • a personal Christmas card

Your steps:

  1. purchase a journal (there are nice leather books like mine sold at Target I know)
  2. paste in your Christmas card
  3. get to writing (I recommend Christmas destinations, favorite Christmas memory, and favorite Christmas gift/s)
  4. at the end of the season pack it up with your Christmas decorations

This week’s posts to come…

Wednesday, December 19…  Wednesday Words: an inside look at recording Citizen Way

Thursday, December 20…  12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas: Day 10 – 12

Friday, December 21… 12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas:  a summary

Off for the holidays… THEN, to bring in the new year, a photo a day (covering the last two weeks of December with all the Christmas happenings).

Family Photo Post – December 11th Session

Follow this link… 

Stephen and Laura Drew’s Christmas Card photo session

This session was incredible! I love the variety because of the warm cozy feeling of the colors and setting while we were indoors and the vibrant colors and playful contrast I got when we went outside. Stephen and Laura, you two look INSANE! 😉

A picture tease… (seriously go to the post)

Professional Photography

12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas: Days 4 – 6

Day 4:  PEACE Letters

Again, I stumbled on this idea through Pinterest.  The project looked simple and it would be free for me since I already had all of the supplies.  I wasn’t sold on the idea though until the message at church inspired my word choice.  Bill Hybels spoke of how the Christmas season is the most joyous and sacred season of the year, yet the majority of the time it becomes the most stressful and busy because of all the demands.  So, he inspired me to not only make a conscious effort to intentionally carve out extra peace in my life to really soak in the gift of Christmas but to assert the commitment to do so with a visual reminder.  What I loved about this project was the tediousness of it.  It took me a solid 6 – 8 hours to complete but it didn’t involve a lot of brain power so I got to sit and create in the quiet, with Christmas music, or with a movie.

PEACE letters

Supplies needed:

  • yarn of your choice
  • scissors
  • tape
  • cardboard

Your steps:

  1. cut out your cardboard letters
  2. cut out cardboard segments to line straight sides and small segments to support curves (this is how you get the block letter effect)
  3. tape the block letters together
  4. tape the beginning of your yarn to the very end of one of your letters
  5. start wrapping – I found I was most successful when I wrapped fairly tight, but not so tight that the cardboard started giving way to the pressure
  6. you will run into hurdles with each letter and really the only way to work it out is personal trial and error because it’s different for every letter (curves and corners are difficult)
  7. at the end of your wrapping simply tuck the end of your strand into an appropriate place and admire your work 😉
  8. repeat steps 5 – 7 for each block letter you created

DAY 5:  Christmas Wreath

The wreath is how this whole 12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas idea came about.  Josh and I have never had a wreath so I decided I wanted to find one I liked.  In the end I resolved to make one because I’m so picky 😉  Since I had been contemplating doing something with a 12 Days of Christmas theme the handmade wreath idea gave me the idea to add Christmas spirit to our home and lives with 12 unique projects.  I must say, of the projects so far this is one is at the top of my list.  My wreath consists of a great variety of ornaments.  My original idea was to create it solely out of my crayons ornaments but six ornaments in and a couple hours later I realized it would take me 10 times longer if I didn’t reevaluate.  I managed to create a dozen crayons ornaments for the wreath and then I hit Hobby Lobby for a plethora of medium and small sized ornaments of various colors and sheens.  What I love about this creation are the “bubble” ornaments, the “snowball” ornaments, my crayon creations, the party of colors, and the fact that since I didn’t stick to just red and green I can leave it up all winter!

Ornament Wreath

Supplies needed:

  • lots of ornaments – I recommend a variety of sheens and colors for a dynamic presentation but you definitely need about 100 or so, depending on the size of your wreath, and you will need 2 – 3 different sizes to fill it out properly (Hobby Lobby has 50% off all ornaments starting in December until they run out of them)
  • pipe insulation tubing – I used one 3′ tube and I wouldn’t go smaller but if you wanted bigger you could use two of them and cut it to size from there or you might be able to find one extra long one and trim that to size (Menards 4 pack of 3′ tubes for 1/2″ pipes from the plumbing section for $.97)
  • hot glue gun (Hobby Lobby for a couple bucks)
  • hot glue sticks – about one per box of ornaments, I probably used around 8 total (Hobby Lobby for a couple bucks)
  • masking or duct tape
  • ribbon of your choice (I got Jute Burlap Ribbon from Hobby Lobby)

Your steps:

  1. for my 3′ tube I simply plucked it out of the bag, looped it around, and taped the ends together with a few rounds of masking tape
  2. take out the ornament hanging pieces
  3. leave your wreath laying flat on your worktable in the same position for the duration of your creating
  4. start with your biggest bulbs and work your way to the smallest ones
  5. start with the inside and outside of the wreath and work your way in to the top/center
  6. apply glue to the surface of the circumference of the bulb opening and stick on your tubing
  7. for the smaller bulbs that act as fillers they won’t touch the tubing so the application of the hot glue will be at the points of contact with the other bulbs
  8. as soon as your surface is sufficiently covered string your ribbon through the maze or ornaments and hang in your desired location

NOTE:  I know it seems scary to be trusting hot glue to secure everything but it’s so strong that if you try to pull any off that aren’t just attached to the tubing you will shatter them at the pressure of your hand before the glue gives way – yes I did this once and only once 😉  So, knowing that, you should only remove bulbs that are attached to the tubing only, and even then do so sparingly because you will be taking chucks of tubing out every time – I also only did this once.

DAY 6:  Snowflakes that won’t melt!

Since I was a kid I have always been fascinated by the natural world around me so, naturally, snowflakes have always given me joy because of the never-ending flow of unique patterns that flit down the winter sky.  So, when I stumbled on these popsicle snowflakes on Pinterest I was immediately sold.  I did find that the example I was following turned out cluttered and less than satisfying so I got creative and attempted to create a few varieties and patterns of my own until I settled on this.

What I love about this project is, again, the tediousness of it.  I loved how it became pretty mindless after sorting out the first one so I could enjoy the quiet, some Christmas music, or a movie while I was working.  I also love that I can keep them up all winter since they are not Christmas specific 🙂

Snowflakes

Supplies needed:

  • 36 popsicle sticks/snowflake (again, Hobby Lobby for a pack of 100 for a couple bucks)
  • wooden buttons – the image I followed used circular wooden wafers but I love buttons (big and small wooden buttons from Hobby lobby)
  • hot glue gun
  • hot glue sticks
  • white matte spray paint (one big can sufficiently covered my 6 snowflakes but I went for a little more of a rustic look so if you want something more sleek I would go for a glossy white and get two cans to really douse them in white)

Your steps:

NOTE:  attach each popsicle stick with a dot of glue unless otherwise noted and use the biggest buttons for the middles of the snowflakes and the smallest for the outside

  1. start with the center and work your way out
  2. line up the center six sticks so they are evenly spaced – you can check the spacing with on of the popsicle sticks, its the perfect length
  3. swiftly add a dot of glue to the center point of each stick and place your button or wafer – if you’re too slow the hot glue will be too cool
  4. to attach the next length to the center piece you will use the interior star pattern to connect them – the less overlapping the better
  5. so, lay out six new popsicle sticks to double the length of the center piece
  6. spread glue across the very tip of a new popsicle stick and attach it to the two touching, extended popsicle sticks so that the hot glue is adhering to both of them
  7. repeat step 6 until all the lengths are attached
  8. go back around with new popsicle sticks to complete the zigzagging pattern – three layers total in this spot (base of two touching but not overlapping sticks, stick 1, stick 2)
  9. at the halfway point of the outermost popsicle stick place a new popsicle stick
  10. at the same point, on top of the previously adhered stick, place another facing the opposite way
  11. at the same point place the button – four layers total in this spot (base, stick 1, stick 2, button)
  12. repeat 9 – 11 until finished
  13. spray paint entire piece to taste

Because explaining the procedure of this particular project is so hard/confusing I took some picture of the assembly process for your viewing pleasure.

Steps 1 - 5

Steps 1 – 5

Steps 6 - 12

Steps 6 – 12

Coming up next…

December 18… 12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas: Days 6 – 9

December 21… Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas:  Days 9 – 12

December 28… 12 Days of Handmade and Homemade Christmas:  a summary
Why so late?  Why after Christmas?  Because a couple of the days are gifts and I can’t give away the SURPRISE! 😉

Musings of a Musician’s Wife: Remembering

THE BEGINNING On Thursday, December 6, 2012 at 7:29pm I had a four-minute phone call with my mom that left me sobbing for the remainder of my drive home.  Her story was of the grim outlook on my grandma’s health situation.  So grim, in fact, that my mom isn’t certain if she’ll make it to Christmas.  The instant wave of grief shook me to the core and brought all my loss from the past five years flooding in from the hidden crevices of my brain.  An iron first started clenching my heart like it was some sick game to see how much pain I could handle.

YEAR ONE:  Sam

It was my freshman year of college when I felt my first loss.  I was a mere two months into the semester when my friend Sam got into a car accident involving a semi that ultimately claimed his life only one short week later.  I remember so many crystal clear moments between the night after the accident and the end of that semester.

I remember the first phone call.  I remember the phone call.  I remember making a road trip to Colorado with Robb, Jimmy, and Josh with our last-minute trip change to end us in Minnesota for Sam’s funeral.  I remember on specific moment of paralyzing sadness.

Sam was a fun-loving young man with bouncing brown curly hair, a contagious, room-filling laugh, a huge heart to serve, and the biggest and brightest wide-mouthed smile.  Sam loved the Lord.

YEAR TWO:  Tony

I was halfway around the world and halfway through my spring semester as a sophomore when I got a call from Kelsey Telling me our friend, Tony, hung himself in a bedroom closet at a party.

I couldn’t make it back from Africa for the funeral.

Tony Had the air of California surfer dude, playing it chill all day every day, but with long brown hair and a guitar rather than a surf board.  I sift through my plethora of memories hoping to pull one out that would bring me peace about Tony’s eternity but instead I am left regretting never having led him to the Lord myself.

YEAR THREE:  Ben

I don’t remember how I was told.  But I know that my first news was that Ben was missing.  The story is that he was camping with a group of friends when he randomly boarded a canoe and paddled out into the darkness of night.  After a few long days of searching they found him at the bottom of the lake.

Josh and I traveled to Minnesota once again for another funeral.

Ben was shy around me at first due to a crush but I found him inclined to let me fill up the space with as many or as few words as I needed.  He was a brilliant writer with long, spirally orange locks and a persistent twinkle in his eye.

YEAR FOUR:  Rick

We moved into the lower apartment of Rick’s house the summer after Josh and I wed.  That November we found out Rick was sick with Esophageal and Liver cancer.  His footsteps upstairs grew sparse then went quiet.  That’s when we found out Rick was admitted to the hospital.

I visited unannounced and on a whim one day.  My heart longed to know Rick found the Lord before his end.  I wrote him a letter and brought it up to his room with me.  His dad was there and the shadow of a man lying in the hospital bed was almost unrecognizable – he looked like a concentration camp victim.  That was the last time I saw Rick.

Less than a week later Josh and I trekked out to Romeoville for the funeral.  It broke my heart because there were only about 20 people there and the couple of people who shared words didn’t actually have much to say.

Rick believed he was a lost cause and he was so full of regret he thought himself far from love and unforgivable.  He was a determined strong man both in will and in strength but he also had a loving soft spot that I got a little slice of every now and then.  His wrinkled face told of the life of battle and loss and regret but his blue eyes clung to kindness.

YEAR FIVE:  Grandpa Bud

Josh and I got a call from my mom that Grandpa was at his end.  We packed up immediately and hit the long 7 hour road.  In the end we missed Grandpa by 20 minutes.

About a week later Josh and I sang at the funeral.

Grandpa Bud was a gentle loving and giving old man.  Many spoke of his legacy of generosity but what I loved most about him was his stark white hair, boyish grin, and the way he always called me “love.”

YEAR SIX:  Tundra

My childhood best friend left me this fall.  Just a week or so before I got to see her and that experience alone broke my heart.  She could barely breathe but she didn’t know it so in her excitement of seeing me she nearly coughed up a lung.

Even then I had known it was the last time I would snuggle my first baby.  I still remember visiting the litter of puppies with my heart full of promise.  Tundra won my over instantly.  She was too shy, scared, and quiet for anyone else but found something safe in me.  I grew up telling her all of my growing pain and cried, many a time, into her fluffy white mane.

Tundra was an emotional dog with a lot of love to give and a permanent smile.

THE END The hardest part of any loss is the aching hole left by the love longing to reach out to the one lost.  I guess on the brink of another loss I find the need to reflect on all of it.  Death is only a part of the pattern of life.  But my heart so longs for the certainty that all of my loved ones are founded in faith so I can await sharing in the heavenly celebration with them.