Tag Archives: marriage

Baby Beginnings

Posted on by

We are having a baby!  Yippee yippee yay!!!!!

As most stories start, I want to start this one at the very beginning.  Our big news starts well before conception.  An important tid bit to know about me is I don’t make decisions lightly, particularly not big decisions.  I have an unintentional rule of thumb for myself that I have to have 3 solid reasons for making any big leaps.  For example, before I got my eyebrow pierced I asked my parents for their approval.  When I did ask them my dad asked for my reasons, because he knew I would have them, and I have him these:  one, I was called a “goody-two-shoes” all through grade school because I didn’t flub up morally or rebel so I thought it was time to try and fix that a little, at least physically, specifically in the hopes of reaching those kids that might be afraid to approach a “goody-two-shoes” like me otherwise; two, my dad worked at a second chance high school and I wanted kids like those to feel like I was approachable; third, I thought they looked so cool.

So, you can imagine that if I thought so long and hard about getting a little eyebrow piercing, how convinced I would have to be in order to start a family.  Hence, the Lord obviously prepared my heart for welcoming kiddos into our family for at least a year and in doing so gave me a good, long list of solid reasons to have a baby.

I suppose the very beginning started when Josh and I got married.  We decided we were going to have kids, if we were going to have them, in about ten years – when I was about 30.  None-the-less, we still talked about kids fairly frequently.  We talked about what kind of parents we wanted to be, what our kids might be or look like, and what sort of traditions we would want to have with our family.

When I photographed my first set of twins with Bella Baby Photography at Good Shepherd Hospital our conversations picked up from a rare occasion to increasingly frequent.  There was something about photographing twins that really made my heart swell lovingly.

Then God took me another step forward and decided on the approach of talking to me through some key people.  First, my good friend Hannah had her first little boy about a year ago.  In talking with her about her pregnancy, delivery and keeping up life with an infant my eyes were opened to the reality I had hoped for in having kids.  Hannah has a similar personality and lifestyle to mine so hearing her story confirmed my hopes and dreams about maintaining an active pregnancy, delivering responsibly but naturally, and continuing to pursue career passions with a child.  These things are totally possible and I am so excited to tackle them myself now!

Then one of my best friends from high school, Alicia, had her first little boy.  Again, I had another woman with a like mind to talk to about pursuing a career and a natural approach with children.  Besides, when a best friend has a baby you fall head over heels for that little nephew!

Now, my friend Becky really did me in.  She not only booked me for 3, 6, and 9 month maternity photography but also for newborn and once a month photos of Scarlett over her first year of kickin’ it on planet Earth!  Scarlett is the epitome of adorable.  She’s got those big eyes, round face, and an adorable, dimpled, willing smile.  And I see this cutie once a month!  I remember asking Becky my list of questions after she had Scarlett.  How was your delivery?  How are you feeling?  How are you sleeping?  Were there any surprises with being a mommy?  With this last question, which is really my code question for “is this baby sucking the life out of you,” she answered just as my friends Hannah and Alicia did:  “yes I’m exhausted but I’m so happy to be.”

I hope I’m not putting words in your mouths dear friends, but when I asked you all my questions the first time I saw you with your babies you all totally won my heart over to the side of motherhood.  In the end, the key with all of these women was the fact that they not only were pursing dreams alongside raising their adorable children but they had amazing love testimonies to share!  Truth is, having a family scared me before because I usually heard blurbs about how kids suck the life out of you, how incredibly hard it is, and how they take over your whole life.  But these women told me and showed me what I had hoped for, that having kids is ultimately a blessing and that every day they are overjoyed to be moms!  These women have children in their lives, not children taking over their lives and dreams.

So now my baby fever meter was officially tickled.  I love kids.  I love Hannah, Alicia, and Becky’s babies.  And though I knew I loved kids, I was perfectly content just seeing them now and then.  But God had different plans, so He took to some more drastic measures to really get my attention; He chose a select set of days to turn my baby making decision upside down.

Key day #1:  We had a pregnancy scare.  Scare is harsh because we weren’t scared, and I think that’s the moment when we both realized separately that we were not only ready to welcome a kiddo into our family but that we were hoping the “accident” took an we were, in fact, pregnant.  I guess God didn’t want to impose that on us though, he wanted us to willingly give way before blessing us with a peanut, because we didn’t get pregnant at this moment.

Key day #2:  I photographed a very large and very adorable family.  As the story goes, Beth was desperate to get a session in with her dad and all of his family because she had gotten word he may not even have two weeks left.  He had been battling cancer for some time and the cancer was now officially winning the fight.  It took some maneuvering to get my schedule and that of all her family members aligned but we did it!  Not only was I touched by the story behind making this session happen but, more importantly, I was so moved by the closeness Beth’s dad had with all of his kids and grandkids; throughout breaks in shooting, various kiddos would walk over to him and make faces or sit on his lap or play some other silly game.

Key day #3:  I photographed a vow renewal ceremony.  This was a family of a 6 years married couple and 3 toddlers.  I fell in love with the family almost right away and the couple’s level of patience and absolute joy for their kids.  I also fell in love with their youngest daughter Kaia.  Sounds narcissistic I know, but if you look at the pictures I took of her you’ll see that it was those round, bright blue eyes and adorable chubby face that won me over.  I remember hopping in my car with a full heart and thinking, “I want a family like that and I think I might be ready now.”

Key day #3 continued:  I talked to my mom a little about the idea of having kids.  When I got home from my vow renewal ceremony I chatted with my mom in the kitchen for a while.  We easily ended up on the subject of kids since it obviously was now at the forefront of my brain.  A few key points came up in our conversation:  a good time for me and Josh to have a baby would be in the summer when he is more frequently and predictably home, Mom would come and help me with the baby, and me wanting another puppy was actually me wanting a baby.

Key day #3 continued some more:  I talked to Josh about my new revelations.  My mom asked me the other day how long Josh and I talked before deciding to start our family.  My answer, about 5 minutes.  After I chatted with my mom upstairs in the kitchen I went downstairs to see my hubby.  I fairly quickly worked into what was on my mind, “Hey so I just realized that summer would be a good time to have a baby since you’re home more and Mom said she would help take care of the baby on weekends we both have gigs.”  His reply was just as shocking, “So do you want to make a baby?”  I think I blushed, which is funny because I’m married to the guy, and I stumbled on my words mumbling about how that’s not what I meant but that I just wanted to share my new found wisdom.  He simply asked the question again.  We got pregnant within days and found out officially on October 7th via a pregnancy test.  The coolest thing about all of that is that I had a specific prayer since photographing that set of twins at the hospital that if and when Josh and I were supposed to start the baby making journey that Josh would give us the green light, not me.

So maybe you’re wondering what my list of reasons to make this baby were?  Yes, it is important to me to be able to follow our dreams while raising a family. Yes, it totally meant the world to me to confirm that it was, in fact, more than possible for babies to integrate into the life structure you created instead of them taking over the whole show.  And yes, I did want a baby.  But, honestly, my list was only this long.

  1. God asked us to let go and let him make our little miracle.

That was all I really needed to know.  I know our journey may be tough at times, but I am so excited to be taking this adventure with the love of my life.  I think we are going to have some fun!

Happy New Year everyone!

Marriage Tips

Posted on by

I wrote The Makings of a Musical Marriage almost a year ago.  It is my top ten list of marital tips.

These tips here are more like little tid bits I’ve picked up here and there throughout this past year.

  1. Public encouragement.There is nothing like hearing your spouse talk highly of you to other people or getting that very public shout out on Facebook.  I know a lot of single folks actually loathe “sappy” statuses, but I’m hoping that if you think about it this way those statuses might become more endearing to you.  I would also ask why you loathe such statuses?
  2. Holding hands.Joshua gets all the credit for this one.  I admit, when we were first married, actually for the first couple of years, I was irritated by him holding my hand everywhere we went.  Funny thing is, I desperately wanted to want to hold his hand because I loved seeing other couples, young and old, holding hands.  It’s sort of like a proclamation of warmth between the couple.

    Then Joshua went on tour.  All I wanted after that was to grab hold of him whenever I could!  Thank you Jesus for fixing my heart.

  3. Join them in the Little Things.

    There are some things that your spouse wants to do that you think are silly and/or a waste of money.  But, the thing is, these things bring your spouse great joy and what does it cost you really?  For me that was going to coffee.  Josh gets giddy about going to get coffee together.  But I stood my ground more often than not because it was money we could be saving.  Then I went to church one Sunday.  The message wasn’t specifically about anything close to loving on your spouse by giving them the little things but there was a moment that Bill Hybels said something that convicted me of withholding simple joys from my husband.  See, Josh and I rarely push $5 at Starbucks on our coffee dates.  From there on out I relinquished my grip on money and asked my husband on a coffee date.  We’ve been going on them ever since and they are one of the best things we do for our marriage!

Anyone else have some helpful marriage tid bits?

Happy Thanksgiving

Posted on by

Honest to goodness, I am most thankful for my husband and my photography business.

I really don’t mean to be to sappy for you folks who hate this kind of thing but I’m not a liar and I truly am more thankful for my husband than anything else on this earth.  He keeps me sane, makes me laugh, and makes life so much sweeter.  I am particularly thankful for the fact that we grow closer together and more in love every day.

Joshua, I love you and am so incredibly thankful for you!

I am also most thankful for a job I love and the best clients in the world!  I have adored each of my clients this year.  Each of you brought me so much joy both during the shoot and throughout the editing process.  I am so incredibly thankful for you and absolutely do not take you for granted!  Thanks for such a perfect year of photo fun!

What are you most thankful for?

Meeting Josh

Posted on by

I’ve been enjoying telling the fond moments in mine and Josh’s history together.  And it seems to me it keeps coming up naturally, I am prompted by a question from a friend or a story I read in a book.  A few days ago Gigi asked how and when Josh and I met.  This is the story I told her.

It was creeping into late evening when I decided to momentarily ditch my friend Kyle to explore his dorm a bit.  At Judson University, girls were only allowed into the guys dorms at very specific times.  Though it was open dorm I didn’t particularly want to be discovered creeping the halls in my exploratory manner – didn’t want to be taken for a creeper you know?  It was only weeks into my freshman year, so I still had an abundance of uncharted and unexplored ground to discover, and I’ve always been a curious soul so I set about wandering the dorm anyway.

When I reached the first floor I saw some guys milling at the end of the hallway.  The only one I noticed was a guy clad in bandmate apparel – black pants, black button up dress shirt and white suspenders.  He was so cheery and full of energy.  I thought he was cool.  Come to think of it, he left an impression on me like no one else ever had.  All of these observations and thoughts filled my head in a matter of a split second before I spun on my heels and started scurrying back down the hall, assuming I’d reach the bend in the hall before anyone would notice I was there.

Then I heard him call out to me, “Hey what’s your name again?”

I turned around to face him again, not moving back down the hall even an inch and replied, “Kaia.”

“I’m Josh, I like the way you dress.”

“Thanks.”

And that was it.  I turned back around and escaped back into Kyle’s room.  I didn’t think much of it besides how embarrassed I was, but little did I know that this man would keep impressing upon me for the rest of our lives.  Our next encounter was also particularly memorable… read about that HERE.

When He Proposed

Posted on by

I made a brilliant discovery to nudge myself into a state of contented enjoyment while spending excruciatingly long and tedious amounts of time editing wedding photography.  Audiobooks!  I love audiobooks.  And it turns out, that my photo editing side of the brain is separate from my listening and comprehending side of the brain so I can now multitask.  I work while I enjoy leisure.  Cool huh?

Anyway, I was listening to a sweet proposal story in my latest book yesterday morning when it occurred to me I discovered a gem for my blog.  And now it occurs to me that today is the perfect day to tell this story because it is our 4 year wedding anniversary!  So here, you go, my proposal story.

When He Proposed

Josh had a plan.  But, as many of us know, it is the most important of plans that typically seem to fight back.  In this case, Josh became violently ill so instead of coming up to my parent’s place in Minnesota, where I stayed during the summers, to surprise me with a full day of fun with him he was a puke puddle.  Not just any puke puddle, he was a headache ridden emergency room patient in his mother’s care for the night.  The new hurdle was covering his tracks because he and my parents had arranged the day off of work for me.  So, I awoke to my mom rapping on my door just minutes before my alarm would go off to send me to work.  She declared they got me out of work so the family could all spend the day out on the lake.  I thought this was strange but couldn’t make anything of it.

The next day I sat cozy in my PJs on the deck working on some homework, I was enrolled in three online summer courses. My mom popped her head out with a request to hit up the mailbox.  I said ok then turned back to my work.  She hovered a moment longer so I turned to her again and she said I needed to go now because the mail man comes around 1pm.  I obliged and hopped on my brother’s goofy, recliner bike to head down to the mail box.  What, our driveway is long.

Half way down I spotted Josh.  He had somewhat mastered surprise visits already so I was expecting his appearance to be simply that.  I was ecstatic.

I ditched the bike and ran at him in preparation for a giant hug only to be interrupted by him thrusting a CD out to me.  Still unfazed I took the item and turned it in my hands.  It was The Least of These’s new album.  Meanwhile, he was commenting that I was in the acknowledgements.  I was satisfied with my gift and preferred a hug over searching the acknowledgments at that minute but Josh prompted me to take action on reading them pronto.  I obeyed and when I was halfway through he got down on one knee.  “Oh, boy what am I missing!” I thought.  I skimmed and saw it, “Kaia, my dear, I love you.  Will you marry me?”  I looked down at him and he held a ring.  I said yes and hugged him. He told me the ring was 111 years old and had belonged to his great great grandmother.  It was a thin band covered in fine etching and it fit my ring finger just right.

Then suddenly he broke free of my embrace and walked back to his car mumbling nonsense I couldn’t hear.  He pulled out a garment bag and I heard something about how my mom purchased the dress we spontaneously looked at that summer in Elgin and had fallen in love with.  He assured me he did not see the dress, that the shop had it all hidden in the bag when he went to retrieve it.  Then he told me we were scheduled to wed on October 17, nine weeks from then, in my parents backyard and that he blocked out a week to be with me in Minnesota and to help as needed with the planning.

And that was just a new beginning!  But for the sake of story telling…

THE END