How to answer “How Much?”

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Kaia Calhoun

I read an article this morning from Wedding Wire about this topic and I found it so helpful that I have decided to reblog it… here you go! Enjoy!

Why Do Couples Ask About Price First?

By: Alan Berg

We All Ask “How Much…?”

We’re all guilty of it at times when we’re the customer. When I needed window tinting on some windows in my house to protect my piano from sun-UV ray damage, I emailed 3 companies and asked them “how much?” and it wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it, or that I was price shopping (at least not at that point). It was simply that I didn’t know what else to ask. Once I met with an expert, and therefore got my education on the process, I could then ask better questions.

Many, if not most, inquiries come in through email these days and “how much does it cost?” is often the first, if not the only question. So, how do you handle that? What are some ways to deflect the question?

Say: Thanks!

The first thing you should always do is thank them for their inquiry. They’ve just put you on the menu. I like to point out to my audiences and clients that in this economy, it is very common to be think “price first” when selecting their top Pros. Think about how many other companies there are that probably didn’t even get on their top list for your area of expertise. Be sure to acknowledge that it is a privilege to get a chance to communicate with them, and that your business is being considered.

Next, it is important to start a conversation with the engaged couple. Whether it’s in email, on the phone, a live chat, at a bridal show, or in your office— you’re having a conversation, so keep it conversational. Don’t write an email like a formal business letter, or as if your high school English teacher is looking over your shoulder. Write it as if you were speaking it to them. Use your “voice” because that’s the voice she’s going to hear when she actually speaks to you. It makes your business come to life, and gives a sense of who you are. Be professional, but friendly!

Get More Information

Next, acknowledge that you’re going to tell them how much it costs… as soon as you get some more information about their big day. Then, continue the conversation by asking a couple of questions at a time. Don’t bombard her with everything, all at once. You wouldn’t do that on the phone or in person, so don’t do that in email.

Should you try to get her on the phone? Yes, a phone conversation is great, but she’s probably at work and can’t call you now. Should you try to get the appointment? Of course, in person meetings are ideal at establishing a connection. But if she wants to continue the conversation via email, be prepared to do it, and be better prepared than your competitors!

Email Tips

Top email tips I recommend when communicating with engaged couples:

Mirror their tone – casual or formal
Mirror their energy – upbeat or reserved
Mirror how much they writes – if they send you 3 sentences, don’t send her 5 paragraphs
Don’t send attachments she didn’t ask for – do you open unsolicited attachments?
Don’t answer questions she hasn’t asked – it’s a basic rule of selling
Be careful with what you write, nothing in email is private – enough said!

Remember that it’s a conversation, so keep it conversational and let your personality come through. Keep in mind that they put you on the menu, so be genuinely thankful that they’ve given you a chance. Lastly, put yourself in their shoes. What would you want if you were the customer? If you do that, it’s hard to go wrong.

Additional Tips from a Sunshine Moment

I simply have a couple things to add that I find helpful…

Send a picture or two in the email – it is always good to give them a quick and easy reminder why they like you
FOLLOW UP – as a self-employed wedding photographer I find this key because my clients are typically looking for a relationship and a personal connection with the photographer they choose

Confession of a Musician’s Wife

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Kaia Calhoun

I can’t sleep, my stomach is in knots, and, as of yesterday, I’m prone to random swells of tears. My husband is leaving on a long trip and now that it’s crunch time I do not seem to be faring well.

Citizen Way is going on tour, first with Mike’s Chair then with Big Daddy Weave and Chris August. He leaves tomorrow and the tour goes until May.

As I am, once again, awake in the wee hours of the morning I am pondering my creeping sadness I slowly realized that perhaps I feel ill and find it utterly impossible to go to sleep, and then to stay asleep past 2:30am, because my heart is already broken and I am in a sort of state of mourning. I already feel lonely and he’s literally sleeping right behind me.

Before I surrendered to my wakefulness today I lay in bed for about an hour thinking on my ridiculousness when suddenly it dawned on me that perhaps I’m not crazy for feeling torn up at the prospect of being left behind by the one that holds my heart. Even though my mission in life was not to wed but to roam the world with my camera in hand for magazines like Life, Time, and National Geographic I find that the independent woman I was before Josh isn’t quite so tough anymore. I kept trying to give myself the pep talk I would always give myself in my friendless elementary and middle school years, “buck up Kaia, stop being a wimp.” But instead I found myself realizing that even if I didn’t have Josh I would at least have a roommate. And then I realized that I could only think of one other person I know that lives alone and that they happen to be miserable. So, maybe I am not wrong for fretting about a new unknown territory in the land of loneliness I am venturing into. I’m worried about the colors it will bring out in me. I’m worried I’ll succumb to moping around the house and spending my waking hours staring bug-eyed at my TV as I seek comfort in every Disney movie I own. I’m worried I’ll either get so lost in this world of loneliness that I’ll forget to eat and take care of myself and our home. And I’m worried that my friends will be too busy for a temporarily widowed woman. All this, coming from the girl who so boldly declared she would be perfectly fine on her own during this long tour, is a bit unsettling. And perhaps I’m being ridiculous, but, like I said, I simply don’t know what to expect.

This is quite a lot to tell the world on a blog, but, lets face it, you’ve made it to the end so apparently you were interested. And, as I thought about my feelings and how I was due to write a FACT or FUN blog today, I realized all I really wanted and should do is tell this tale. Because, not only is this story heavy on my heart, it is the very reason I committed to blogging; I set out to honestly share what the reality of doing life with a member of a touring Christian rock band is like. The idea was born over breakfast at Benedict’s with Papa Calhoun, Joshua, and Brother Ben. We decided I should tap into the stories that come out of band life – whether on the road or back at home with the wives and children. We all decided they are the kinds of stories we would love to hear from our favorite famous people and that perhaps we should divulge for Citizen Way’s friends and fans.

So, here you have it, the truth that rests at the pit of my stomach and the reality of Josh’s work.

Blessings on whatever journey you find yourself on!

Growing Up

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Kaia Calhoun

I left for college in the fall of 2007.

I lived in Africa in the spring of 2009.

Josh and I got married in October of 2009.

We moved in the summer of 2010.

We got Haley three days later.

I launched a Sunshine Moment in the first week of 2011.

I graduated college in April of 2011.

We moved again in the summer of 2011.

We moved again in the first month of 2012.

Citizen Way got signed in February of 2012.

We got Sam in April of 2012.

My Guide to Growing Up

Josh and I have been through a lot in the five years we’ve known each other. We have grown up in so many ways and to address each area of growing up would be a full book of words but, today, I’m particularly inclined to talk about the way we’ve grown up professionally.

Professionally, Josh and I are self-employed artists and we’ve learned that this means it often feels like we are selling ourselves to our clients or fans. Yesterday we were talking about how this requires a lot more of us in appearances. Sounds shallow but it is true whether we like it of not. In business, you are how you look.

We’ve learned that we’ve had to step it up in what we wear, cleanliness, how our hair looks, and how our house looks. As a professional it is important to look the part when engaging in anything involving your clients. I even consider it important to look presentable any time I am out in public. For me these means my hair has been groomed, I smell nice, and I’m wearing well-kept clothing.

What to Wear

Of course there is an element of style involved here so you can make it your own but there are some key elements in the three main scenarios Josh and I find ourselves in.

The gig

For gigs, whether Josh is performing at a show or I’m photographing wedding, we both dress business casual in neutral or almost neutral tones. As a wedding photographer it is important to not be distracting to guests so it is important not to wear bright, fun colors. As a musician it is important because the idea is to look better than your audience and bright colors under concert lighting can be blinding and generally give the aura of youth.

Josh and I have also discovered that money does go a long way in the world of clothing. Typically, the better the brand, the better the clothes withstand wear and tear – and the less they shrink and stretch in the wrong areas over time

I recommend to all professionals to dress to impress. So, whether you are a waitress, an actress or in business it is important to dress to impress. Whether you appear for an interview, a video blog, a presentation, a speaking engagement, a gig, or a meeting it is your job to show your clients that you care and take them and yourself seriously by dressing professionally.

Artists are absolutely not exempt from this rule. A common misconception is to look cool if you’re an artist. That is overrated and immature. Yes, I view my clothing as another opportunity to bring creativity, life and art into daily life but to get too “trendy” or “hipster,” again, shows youth and looks unprofessional. As an artist you should go to battle for your work until you reach the point when people take you and what you do seriously and with respect. By growing up in appearances you are engaging in the quickest, easiest, and most important advancement technique that showcases to others that you are serious about what you do and that you are experienced.

Out-and-about

Up until a year or so ago Josh and I frequented the shabby and torn look. We simply had a tendency to wear our clothing into the ground. It is common to view artists in this light – their attire is slightly mismatched, seen too many days, and most likely not fitted. However, as a professional I have found it important to retire those clothes to a “just around the house” basis.

Don’t go overboard here though either. You don’t need to be prim and perfect all the time or use this as an excuse to frequent the mall. You just need to step out of the youth tendency to go everywhere in sweatpants, stained t-shirts, ripped jeans, and an overall dryer wrecked wardrobe. You simply never know how and when you will engage in a conversation about your work or business so it’s best to look the part.

Working out of the house

I know that the first thing Josh does every day is get fully ready as though he had a traditional job. This means he’s showered, dressed, and well-groomed before he sits down at his desk. This is a very helpful attitude to take because it gets the mind properly prepped for work and naturally focused. On my end I will occasionally spend the day in sweatpants and a sweatshirt – this is my strategy to keep myself comfortable enough to stay planted at my desk when I have to crank out the editing. However, without otherwise getting ready for the day though I find I am sluggish, easily distracted, and have an overall unproductive feeling.

Cleanliness

It is important to be well-groomed and good smelling in the adult world. This element is a key separator of the youth from the professionals. It is common in college to forget deodorant, go without a shower or touching your hair. But, first impressions are key in the professional world.

Clean, dry hands

You will most likely greet your client with a hand shake. This being said you want to be sure to have clean dry hands when you go in for your firm and confident hand shake.

Done, dry hair

Notice how I didn’t say clean. I am a strong advocate of not washing your hair every day but it is important not to go so far as letting it get visibly oily and unkempt. Personally I find it is best to shower and not wash my hair everyday but to at least get it wet. Whether I hop in the shower or not, however, I always touch it – no more rolling out of bed and walking out the door. Sometimes this is just a simple braid or my natural, wavy look and other times, if I’m feeling fancy, I’ll take a curler or straightener to it.

Having dry hair, or at least seemingly so, when meeting a client is important because you will look unfinished if it is still wet. Again, this points to inexperience and youth because wet hair in public is often only worn on people of college age and under.

Pleasant smelling

I do advocate deodorant but not in the traditional way. I find that by eating a diet complimentary to my body’s needs, all I need is coconut oil under my arms and I’m good for the day. If you are a heavy sweater rub a drop or two of tea tree oil into some coconut oil before applying. If that’s still not cutting it add a little baking soda and that should do the trick. Also, please note, that it will take your body several days to adjust to natural deodorant when it’s used to competing with manufactured ingredients and aluminum ridden contemporary deodorant.

I also advocate giving yourself a pleasant smell, but personally perfume gives me a headache. By showering daily you are already taking care of yucky smell build up but if you want to smell a little extra lovely I recommend going to a natural and less abrasive scent – Whole Foods carries some natural “perfumes,” you can use an essential oil (just a drop or two behind the ears and on the wrist will do), you can apply some naturally scented body lotion, or you can shower with Sabon Body Scrub every so often and the natural oil residue smells fantastic.

Grown Up Hair

I love the natural world and natural living so, naturally, I love the look of a natural hair-do. And I can do this in a way that is still professional and classy. Done are the days of bad box dyes and shaggy hair cuts. I am blessed with a wonderful hair stylist whom I can trust completely. In going to her I have learned a lot of ways to keep my hair “me” but also clean-cut. I let her take care of my split ends and ask her for recommendations in regards to keeping up appearances. I let her tell me when my roots need help, I let her choose my hair color within an idea I propose, and I let her choose how best to trim my long locks because if there’s anything that reveals youth it’s overgrown roots and bad cut and color jobs.

Color

For the last several years I tried every hair color extreme in a manner of three years – red, black, super blonde and some in-between. So, naturally, my hair paid some damages from all my drama and Tracy has been trimming up the pieces for a while now.

Hair is one of the first qualities someone will notice it you. Therefore, if you have wicked roots or hot pink hair it will not go unnoticed. For this I would say a good rule of thumb is to let a professional take care of you, and make it someone who you can trust and want to grow a relationship with, because they will have the best recommendations for getting your hair healthy and how long you can go before touching up your color.

Cut

Shaggy hair is the result of going too long between trims – wicked split ends are a no-no.

Grown Up Home

The days of a house full of hand-me-downs and thrift buys are over. Since I launched an in-home studio space about a month ago the rest of my house had to grow up. This meant matching furniture, unified design, and de-cluttered living spaces.

I recommend doing this as you enter the professional world too because you too will eventually, most likely, host some clients or coworkers. Besides, it’s a blast!

Matching Furniture

When I started getting into interior design for Sherwin Williams I quickly started noticing how all the showcased rooms had matching furniture. So when I set out on my home improvement project that was an obvious place to start. This meant I got rid of and sold quite a bit of furniture and bought a few new pieces. My tips for matching furniture in any given room are as follows: make all your woods match, you can get away with different upholstery but be sure to stick to your color scheme, and an accent piece is ok but be sure to keep it within a set of design boundaries.

Unified Design

To achieve unified design it is important to stick to a color palette. You can stick to just neutrals or go color crazy like me 🙂 Successful color palettes have anywhere between 0 – 5 colors with one or two neutral tones.

Another important element is choosing your accent color because that color will be the cherry on top of your home improvement sundae. Josh and I pretty much chose yellow to be our accent color in the whole house, thus tying our whole home together nicely. However, you may instead choose a set palette for your whole house and that will also guarantee a sense of unity in the whole.

The design of your furniture is also something to consider, you will want to stick to one furniture identity. So, if you’re going for rustic, modern, eclectic, or contemporary stick to your commitment.

De-cluttered Living Spaces

A cluttered living space is like mismatched, over-worn, and baggy attire. By opening up your living spaces you are showing yourself and others that you are past putting all of your favorite things on the walls, on your tables, and in your nooks and have matured into a breathable and more conducive living standard.

This means being bold and getting rid of things. It boils down to only sharing what is most important. This, ironically, ends up showing who you are in the way you decorate your home because, in the end, you are revealing only what’s most important to you and committing to those things. For a couple examples, in my case, we have a collection of prints of Josh and me from the past three years as our sole wall decoration in our living room and instead of having a bedroom we chose to commit to sleeping on our hide-a-bed in order to have a living room for fellowship and a studio space for each of us.

It’s funny writing all of these things down since it is always wise not to wrap yourself up in material things. But I find that my most common advice and encouragement to friends is to commit to your passions and do so by giving them the attention they deserve. I so often encourage my friends and family and sometimes even random strangers I end up in conversations with to be bold and start doing what they love rather than simply doing work to get to the weekends. By following that path all of these tips will help you find success in your new career path, whether self-employed or not.

The Makings of a Musical Marriage

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Kaia Calhoun

My 10 Best Tips

Josh and I have been married for over three years now. In all honesty our first couple of years were messy. We were all over the place with selfish expectations and yucky emotional colors. We are no masters now, by any means, but we have been very intentional about digging deep into a good foundation so that when we do have a disagreement or he’s gone for weeks at a time we don’t tumble down a cliff. Here are the 10 most important things we’ve learned together so far.

1. Meet with a group of couples

This is the place where we really started to grow. I don’t remember how the idea was planted but after Josh and I got married I started feeling lonely. We moved off campus and he was gone most weekends so I resolved to really hunt for some good friends.

So, one of my ideas was to go to pizza at the Squire with another couple. That one time meeting turned into a biweekly experience that grew to four couples and now consists of a boisterous group of six couples.

The reason this group meant, and means, so much to us is how much it gives life and clarity to our marriage. I remember that it was particularly eye-opening and life-giving in the first several weeks we met. We found that, through story swapping, none of us were crazy for thinking or doing certain things. This essentially helped bring about a jumping off point to fix various issues and connect in ways we couldn’t before. I loved that we could enjoy cheese pizza, coke, and a safe space to unintentionally hash out marital life.

2. Attend church together

Josh and I particularly struggled with this for a while because, as a musician, he leads at a number of churches. It took us a long time to figure out that it not only was good for us, but especially for me, to feel like I had a “home church.” Ever since, we’ve attend Willow Creek Church together whenever we can because we love their mission, sermons, and worship but we also have the option of going on Saturday night since Josh usually leads on Sundays whenever he’s home.

3. Pray together

We started praying together daily a little over a year ago. We’d committed in stints off and on before that but we were hit hard by provision and God’s presence in our marriage when we committed daily. I still distinctly remember the first day we’d missed in weeks – we were utter grouches to each other and completely unbearable and amiss. As soon as we realized that we had missed praying together we laughed it off and snuggled up for some pray time. Praying together, we’ve found, is perhaps THE MOST important thing we do for our marriage. It totally grounds us where we ought to be grounded and glues us to each others side in purpose. A huge gift in praying together too is the whole idea of two or more gathering to pray… we see Gods blessing in our prayers so fast it’s the most incredible experience.

4. Dig into the Bible together

Josh and I do this a lot less regularly than we used to since we’ve committed to daily praying together, but this experience is also incredible. God gave you your life partner to help challenge you and grow you in ways you could never reach on your own. When Josh and I dig into the word together I count myself so blessed to understand the words in a new way because I’m reading it out loud plainly, he’s reading it out loud in his slightly dramatized manner, he’s asking questions, I’m asking questions, he divulges information he’s learned as a pastor’s kid, and I from my childlike faith. He gave us each other to complete each other in so many ways it’s crazy we never thought we would see fruit of that in Bible study.

5. Give together

Over the years Josh and I have developed a huge heart for giving. I remember several years back I was suddenly struck by one of those life-changing sermons about giving. I couldn’t tell you what the sermon said or where I was or what pastor I was listening to, but I remember leaving feeling so convicted that I hadn’t bothered to tithe once in my life (my parents giving me some quarters doesn’t count I don’t think). From then on I committed to the 10% tithe and the blessing I’ve seen because of that in my own life, in the lives of others, and the way that’s ushered my heart closer to His has been one of my biggest blessings. And then I got married and quickly realized that Josh and I had the same heart and it’s been so amazing sharing in that journey together.

6. Budget

Budget is fitting as the next tip because about a year or two into our marriage we went through Financial Peace University and were able to expand our giving by learning to properly budget. Plain and simple, I highly recommend going through this program. It gave Josh and I all the tools to succeed in sound budgeting and all other matters of money that we hadn’t even begun to think about. I remember thinking before the class that budgeting sounded too scary and official but when we tried it I felt so freed from our money. All of a sudden I didn’t feel stressed out every time I spent because I was carrying with me the exact amount we allotted to spend (yes we follow the cash envelope system). It was so freeing to easily spend that money on essentials that I only assumed we couldn’t afford and to not spend that money on impulse items that cluttered our lives before.

7. Dream together

This is perhaps mine and Josh’s favorite activity. We love grabbing a cup of coffee and dreaming out our careers, our family, our home, and everything else that is lovely and exciting. We find this brings us so much joy and hope because we start working towards those dreams as soon as we voice them. It’s funny how it only takes saying something to turn that incomprehensible dream into something attainable.

8. Weekly date night

This was one piece of advice we received before getting married that we started in engagement and have stuck to ever since (thank you Alison Calhoun). We were told that, after marriage, it’s easy to let the days slip away without making time for each other. Because of our commitment to a date night I can honestly say that I haven’t felt shorted in the quality time bank. Now, there have certainly been times when we didn’t have a penny to spend on an outing but sometimes those are the best dates because we certainly got very creative!

9. Serve the other

This is a more recent learning experience. I remember one day I was starting to boil over at Josh because I was feeling shorted in receiving love. Then God gently whispered to me that maybe I ought to try pouring my love into him instead of expecting him to fill me up at my every whim. What I discovered was incredible. Instead of feeling more drained and undesired I felt so loved because not only was I taking my attention off myself but it inspired Josh to reciprocate thoroughly.

10. Humility and forgiveness

This lesson is more vague because I am still working on it. I didn’t know until I got married just how prideful I am. So, obviously, this flaw doesn’t pair well with marriage and it has been a battle trying to break this in me. God’s first step was giving me the most humble husband as an example and then making him gentle as well so he can slowly work me out of my pride – one certainly can’t break it with force because stubbornness only becomes more stubborn when threatened. I am slowly learning to say “I’m sorry,” “it was my fault,” and “I forgive you” quickly.

Citizen Way is Recording

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Kaia Calhoun

About a month ago I interviewed Joshua Calhoun while they boys were wrapping up the recording of their full length album coming out this spring. The reason for the delay in posting is simply because I realized I had to introduce the band properly before I jumped headlong into the intimate details. So, for those of you that have not been properly introduced yet read the CITIZEN WAY STORY and you’re all caught up! 🙂

Kaia Calhoun (Me): What are you working on now?

Joshua Calhoun: Our new album will consist of 11 songs: two older songs (one we did for Father of Lights and Things I’ve Learned with Joel Hanson of PFR and Aaron Ankrum in Minneapolis, MN) and the rest are new songs, including Should’ve Been Me, that we are so excited for everyone to hear. The album is basically just the best songs that we have right now.

KC: What has your recording process been like?

JC: You normally start with drums and bass together, which means David and Ben are tracking together. Then we lay down guitars and keys and vocals and auxiliary later.

Everything happens really quick. Our stay in Nashville was 5 days. David and Ben recorded five songs in the first day. And then everything else was added during the next four days – vocals takes the last two days.

KC: What are you looking forward to about this album?

JC: Being able to play all the songs on it, having new songs to play live, and getting more of our music out there.

KC: What is next for you guys?

JC: We start on a January tour with MIKESCHAIR and then go with Big Daddy Weave and Chris August in February. Our next single should be released in March, we’re not sure what that is yet but we are down to three options.

KC: What is your favorite part about recording?

JC: The collaboration of finalizing an idea.

KC: What is the best tip you have to offer to aspiring musicians?

JC: Whether you are on a label or not, practice and write your own music and listen to a lot of music.