Parenting all too often feels mostly like telling you what to do and what you’re doing wrong all day long. It leaves me feeling icky. It leaves me feeling I’ve spent most of my words telling you how you’re not good enough. I’m trying to shape you into an incredible human being, someone who is the kind, compassionate, gentle, and good girl I see in you, but I can’t help but feel all of this “shaping” will also lead you to end up woefully insecure or resentful towards me.
To combat this, I’ve started a nightly affirmations routine with you when we’re snuggled up in your bed tucking you in for the night. Just before I crawl out of your bunk bed I like to list off some of the things I love about you and some of the amazing things you did that day. I think of it as my insurance policy; that if I’ve managed to miss the mark entirely, not squeaking out a single encouraging word during the day, at least I know filled your love bank with good vibes just before you drift into dream land. I hope and pray this works and that this routine helps to make you feel valued, full of worth, secure in my love and confident in who you are as a daughter of Christ.
I want you to remember my encouraging words always, so here are some of the things I’ve been sharing with you during our affirmations time lately.
Maisy, you have the most compassionate heart of anyone I know. You care so much about others and making them happy. You care so much about me and making me proud and happy.
You have this way of connecting with each individual person. It truly doesn’t matter to you what you are doing, as long as you are doing it with someone you care about. This means I can see you running around half-screaming nonsensical babble with Emrie, setting up an elaborate Beanie Baby zoo with H, creating play dough tea parties with Lo, or laying on the activity mat just chatting with Audrey.
You are truly gorgeous. I can’t let myself think about your teenage years because they scare me. And honestly, a lot of the reason I’m so hard on you now is to steer you so firmly onto the right path – I hope to smash my worst nightmares into oblivion. Your beauty, sensitivity, and desire to emotionally connect could so easily ensnare you with guys and I can’t let that happen.
You are as stubborn as I am and that’s saying something. Parenting a stubborn kid sure is hard on me, but I’m thankful you have this backbone in you because, with the right compass, your stubbornness will keep you out of trouble.
And those are just a few of the things I love about you. I plan to tell you more each night and write down as much of what I love about you as I can.
With all my heart,