As I was nursing Penny to sleep tonight I felt a pang of sadness for the snuggling you and I used to do. Not because I feel like I missed it. Quite the opposite – I clung to those moments knowing they weren’t going to last nearly as long as I’d choose.
We would cuddle up in your twin bed together. My elbow would be your pillow, we’d nestle in forehead to forehead with your face somewhat shoved into my armpit and you’d curl your legs into my belly, tug your toes in-between my legs and we’d snuggle like that sometimes for a half an hour each nap and bed time. All the while I’d be thinking, just one more minute. And one more minute. And one more minute. Until sometimes I fell asleep there.
Now we still snuggle, but the embrace is much less intimate and intertwined and the duration keeps getting shorter. Though logic and other folk may tell me any second of snuggling is numbered, that one day we will snuggle no more, I am in pursuit of snuggling your whole life long. I can picture us spooning in your bed at bedtime as a teenager – perhaps after story time together. I can picture us on the couch well after you’ve moved out, you nestled in to the crook of my arm laughing.
I love you Maisy and fully intend to pursue these dreams into a reality.
With all my heart,